What I learned from Mr. Domas

Jul 29

Because of the war situation in Ukraine in 2022, there was a lot in the news about the Baltic States, including Lithuania. These states are located in proximity to Ukraine.

It reminded me of Mr. Domas.

I was 22 when I started working at Rockwell International as a software engineer. Mr. Domas was a fellow engineer, an elderly gentleman; I had heard he was from Lithuania. I wasn’t even sure where that was.

His first name was actually “Domas” and his last name was Vailokaitis, but he was respectfully always called “Mr. Domas” by everyone who worked with him.

Mr. Domas was probably around 65 or 70 if my memory serves me correctly, and this was 1981, so he had been in his ‘20s during World War II. He had a thick accent, and was the most gracious and respectful man I think I had ever met. He seemed like he was from another era.

When I was introduced to him, he asked if my name was “Lisa” as in “Elizabeth.”

(“Lisa” can actually be a rare nickname for Elizabeth).

I answered, “yes” to clarify the pronunciation of my name, but Mr. Domas thought my actual name was Elizabeth, and forever after that, he called me “Miss Elizabeth.”

Mr. Domas did not talk a lot about where he had come from or what had happened to him, but one day I asked him about it.

He said, “Miss Elizabeth, do you know what it means to be ‘occupied’?”

“No,” I answered. I didn’t know.

“To be occupied means to lose all freedom. Our country became occupied during the war. We lost all freedoms and had to live in fear. We were not allowed to continue at the university. We must be home by dark. People were suddenly deported and taken away. We never knew what would happen to us, or to our loved ones. We lived in constant fear of the unknown.”

Having grown up in sunny Southern California, I could barely imagine it.

Mr. Domas told me how he and his wife escaped in darkness one night, in a rowboat on the Baltic Sea. I didn’t even know where that was.

I had so much respect for him. He was a brilliant engineer who worked tirelessly, and with such quiet but overwhelming gratitude.

When my husband, Walt, and I decided to get married, he asked Mr. Domas to be his best man at our wedding. He said yes, and came with his beautiful wife, Anna.

When Mr. Domas was almost 70, he would be required by the company to retire. Rockwell had a strict policy about retirement at a specific age. But Mr. Domas did not want to retire, he wanted to keep working.

I never knew how Walt did it, but he finagled something so Mr. Domas could continue to work.

Four years after our wedding, my husband Walt died suddenly. It was a tragedy for me personally, and also for the many people who had worked for him.

Mr. Domas sent this kind memory to me and my children:

“Mr. Walter Ramelow managed the most advanced department of computer programmers and system analysts. He significantly contributed to the Rockwell International company.
Mr. Walter Ramelow was a very kind and sensitive person. He was a real gentleman, we all loved him. I feel privileged I had a chance to work in his department.”

I will never ever forget Mr. Domas; he showed a young woman how lucky she was to have freedom.

Thank you for this special gift, Mr. Domas.